Ranger Suarez Has Been So Hot This Year That Phillies Broadcaster Wants To "Rub His Body All Over Him"
Ranger Suarez has been having one of the best starts to a season that we've ever seen out of an MLB pitcher. 10 starts on the year so far for Ranger and he's 9-0 with an ERA of 1.36. Nobody has done that in a Phillies uniform since the days when dudes were named Grover.
You don't see too many Grovers nowadays. You also don't see too many pitchers as dominant as Ranger Suarez. You add 65+ strikeouts to the stat line so far this season and he has the best start in at least 100 years.
Fact of the matter right now is that Ranger is dangerously hot. And I don't think you could blame anyone in the greater Philadelphia area for wanting to rub their entire body up on Ranger. It's only natural. But just to be safe, you should probably keep those thoughts to yourself in your head. If you're going to let those thoughts out to anyone, maybe just save it for a small gathering of only your closest companions. You sure as shit don't want to let those intrusive thoughts out on a televised broadcast.
But that's not going to stop former general manager and current color commentator, Ruben Amaro Jr, from letting everyone know just how badly he wants to rub bodies with Ranger.
"I would rub my whole body on him just to try to get the luck he's got going right now".
Again, it's only natural for Phillies fans to feel that way about Ranger right now. It's only natural to feel that way about the whole team. They're the best team in baseball, they've won 27 out of their last 33, Bryce Harper is helping kids all throughout the Delaware Valley with their promposals and then mashing on the field.
This team just rules so damn hard right now. So while I agree with the sentiment from Ruben Amaro Jr, and as much as I'd also love to rub my body up against Ranger's…just leave that one in the back pocket for the next broadcast. Or maybe just let Kruk say that one.